Sacrifice


The Final Straw
George sat at his desk in our cramped office, his hand screwing up his face as I walked back in after one of his phone calls with Mary. "She's told me that unless I get rid of you, she'll get rid of me." His face was contorted with the stress of talking to Mary. "I don't have a frickin' clue what to do". he finished. "Sack me," I shot back, "you have to. She means what she says and no matter what you do or say, unless I go, she won't leave you alone". " Lemme think about it and see what I can come up with". he replied. What he thought was going to change I have no idea. It was obvious that I had to go for the business to continue to receive office space and a free Internet feed. Once more, I got onto IRC and vented on Mary-Anne. She had her own battles too it seemed. Her middle son was in foster care and was now being made a ward of court. My heart went out to her. My problems were nothing compared to that. The weekend passed with me spending every waking minute, in the office, typing away to a face I hadn't seen. We agreed to exchange photographs. I'd sent her one of me, which I tore from my passport. It was time to get a new one anyway. Her warmth and genuine concern was beginning to be the only source of comfort I could find in the world. I clung to her like a rock as my life in Ireland fell apart once more. By Monday George took the only option available to him and fired me. I left a message for Mary-Anne telling her what had happened and that I'd find a way of talking to her soon. It was early October 1995.
Planning For a Future
I figured I'd have no problem finding a job with one of Internet Eireann's new competitors. They were springing up all over the place. The fact I was his brother didn't deter me. After all, I'd proved I had the expertise to cope with an Internet Provider's problems. Before I could do that though, there was unfinished business to complete. Sickened by what my "family" had done to me again, anger began to boil inside me. Hatred for their duplicity was to the fore, as a decision was made to make sure Ireland was rid of Mary's meddling ways. Internet Eireann would not survive, of that I was certain. They owed far too much money to far to many people. However, there were plenty of other peoples' lives Mary could mess with, before that day dawned. It was time for me to put a wrench in the works. I confided in George. It was only fair to him. He obviously had his own agenda, because he encouraged me. Dear George, I knew, had visions of taking over their customer base. He told me to contact a guy, codenamed "Goldhawk", who worked for a Dublin newspaper. So it began. I rang "Goldhawk". Of course, I played the part to the full, preserving anonymity by speaking through a handkerchief. My ridiculously suspicious behaviour didn't bother me a bit as I nervously gave him the ammunition for his story. I had real misgivings about all this and constantly had to remind myself that it was alright for me to destroy my brother's career, as he'd destroyed mine.
International Rescue
As the days passed I tried to get back into the offices to contact Mary-Anne. This time I found it was a problem. Internet Eireann's staff were on notice to call Mary if I showed my face in the building. I tried it once, only to be told the police were on their way. Asking George to let Mary-Anne know I was fine, I left hurriedly, before I got arrested or forcibly removed. The locks had been changed to the building as well. That ruled out a night time entry. As a result, my comfort zone, Mary-Anne, was removed. George told me he'd "seen" her and told her I was fine and not to worry about me. Meantime, I began to contact businesses, who I knew were owed money by Internet Eireann. There were quite a number of interested Irish people who learned of the real status of that company. I felt dirty, cheap and totally unhappy as I grimly went about my task. This was not something I was cut out to do.
News filtered through from George that Mary-Anne was worried and, he thought, going to offer to buy me a ticket to Toronto. I couldn't believe it. Why on earth would this woman do such a thing. Sure we'd got each other's pictures. She looked attractive and kind in her photo. But to take such a risk and offer me her home, well, she must be crazy, I thought. I'd never been a recipient of such generosity. My instincts were to decline the offer if it came. On the other hand, I reasoned, why not? What did I have to lose at this juncture. Who knows, it might work out. Sure enough, a few days later the offer came. With it, a request that I call her at home. We hadn't spoken for two weeks. I called, summoning the last few Irish pounds I had at my disposal to do so. We talked for forty five minutes. Agreeing that if I did fly to Toronto, there were no strings attached, we parted with a promise that a ticket would be provided for me to visit her. All that remained was for me to close my dealings with Internet Eireann to my satisfaction. There was still one thing I had to do.