The Empty Mind
Instructions
We sat facing each other. Mary, her long lank hair tied back, spread across the couch as I sat on the floor below her.
"I can see you've had a tough time", she said. "You have no confidence at all." I nodded. " Now we can begin to help you lead a better life", she went on,
" You must leave all thoughts of your former life behind you. You are welcome to stay here as long as you like, but you must help around the house,
you must walk the dogs and do exactly as I tell you to. You must go to bed between two thirty and four every day to wait for visions and messages from "spirit".
You must also go to bed at eight thirty every evening to wait for them too." I questioned why the times were so specific. She told me that spirits are at their
most communicative during those times. " Also", she said," When you are in bed, you must completely examine your inner self. Find every fault you have and make
sure you banish them from your personality. I will see you every day and lead you through this process. Then I will teach you how to become a Medium" "Oh well." I thought,
"this should be interesting".
Slave to the Medium
My programme was set. Each morning I got up and took the two dogs for a walk along the pathways bordering Dublin Bay. Sometimes, when the tide was out, we crossed the railway bridge onto the sands.
There I threw balls for the dogs until I got too cold to continue. On my return, I made some breakfast and waited for my audience with Mary.
Mary and I sat and talked about me and my faults. Arrogance, stubbornness, impulsiveness and many more. Then at precisely two thirty, I went to bed.
As I lay there, I dropped into a kind of half sleep, the desired state for "spirit" according to Mary. As I dozed, I found I could remember everything.
I dutifully scanned my mind for faults from my past and erased them. Then, a kind of screen would appear, like a television screen in front of my eyes. It was blank, but very light,
so I looked for the promised visions. I saw nothing. After the first day, strange things began to happen. When Mary wanted me, I felt pressure on either side of my nose, as though
it were being squeezed tight by unseen fingers. My stomach began to convulse frequently, as a guilty person's does, when about to be confronted. My bowels churned away as if I'd eaten
an extremely gassy meal. It was extremely uncomfortable. I discussed it with Mary, who told me this was completely normal, citing her own bad health as an indication of what Mediums must suffer,
in return for the powers they are bestowed with. She was becoming friendly with me it seemed and pleased with my progress. Occasionally, I received a telephone call from the UK. It was a woman I'd met
that summer, who had taken a fancy to me. We talked on the phone for some time, when she called. The next day, Mary was able to repeat some of the things said. This she put down to her psychic powers of
telepathy.
Visions
September was drawing to a close. Mary confided to me that the business was short of money.
This was no surprise to me, because I knew the spending habits of the family were excessive.
Everything they ate was organic. Even the dogs were given organic braising steak, costing as much to feed each week as an average family. Meanwhile suppliers and creditors whistled for their money.
As the guarantor of their office lease, and presentable to boot, I was asked to go to Dublin town and argue with the suppliers of the Internet feed, a company named Worldlink. They had supplied a feed, which
was apparently the source of the Internet Eireann's, ( Steve's company), problems. Two days later, it was apparent my attempt had failed. I returned from walking the dogs to find Mary screaming at me from her room
at the top of the stairs. Blaming me for saying something I shouldn't, she denounced me to the world as a complete failure at everything I tried. I knew it wasn't my fault, but accepted the blame to appease her.
She asked me to see if I could raise money in the UK. I agreed and telephoned a couple of friends, who, of course, refused to help. Well, not exactly refused, but brushed my request off with, "I'll see
what I can do". This did not please Mary. She began to exhibit her temper again, rounding on me and screaming at the top of her voice. Not a pretty sight ! In my confused state, as it had then become, I was
left feeling extremely anxious and afraid of her. Telling me I could speak to no-one on the telephone again, she ordered me to bed to see if I could gain contact with the spirits. Off I went with my tail between my legs.
I was now isolated from the outside world. That night, I received my first ever "vision".
Whispered Comments
My "vision" was reported the next morning to Mary.
She sat and listened, as I excitedly told her of coloured lights appearing in the corners of the "screen" in front of my eyes, tracking across my view,
before disappearing. Of the graphic I'd seen of one of the dogs standing at a wicker gate. Of a sepia image of a monastery type building with an old man standing outside.
The first, she interpreted as "spirits" appearing, the second as the dog being ready to die. The third, was apparently my late father trying to contact me,
to tell me I was now on the right path. That afternoon, as I prepared to go to bed again, I overheard Mary talking to Karen. "He's going into denial now ", she said, "so don't worry."
That comment sank in as I thought, "Now I know what you are up to".